Trust Him More

Third Month 24, 2012

Yesterday was my birthday. I went to see The Hunger Games. Obviously it was a post 2006 birthday celebration. A few words of explanation: My dad died the day before my birthday in 2006. I was in New York watching my Knicks defeat the Celtics. That was my 2006 birthday celebration. Birthdays have not been the same since.

I am a HUGE birthday person. I start celebrating my birthday the first day of each year. There are 81 days from the new year to my birthday. I was in Baltimore for my 30th birthday and called my favorite local radio station to join the 30 and over birthday club.You see I love celebrating the anniversary of my birth. I love getting older. I am just as enthusiastic now that I am 41 as I was when I was 21.

That enthusiasm is dampened by memories of 2006. After celebrating the best birthday ever, I returned to Baltimore to a note that changed my life. I did as the note requested and made a phone call and was informed that my dad was dead. I made subsequent calls and within days went from seats at Madison Square Garden to seats in the front pew. I don't remember much about that time, but these things I do remember.

• Countless people talking about my dad's "transition." Nobody used the words death or dead.


• People who didn't know better offering me seemingly endless platitudes. They meant well.


• The presence of the Morehouse contingent. They made me smile. "You can always tell a Morehouse man, but you can't tell him much."

• A colleague of my dad's having a conversation with me. This was one of the most important conversations of my life.

I don't remember the woman's name. I don't remember the name of the church she pastored. I do know that this woman of God recognized my grief and responded in a loving way. She sat next to me and just began talking. She didn't touch me and she didn't pretend to know what I was experiencing in the moment. She told me she loved me. She told me she loved my dad. She told me that she loved God. She told me that she knew I trusted God, and I needed to TRUST HIM MORE. Three simple words that have had a huge impact on my life. This woman didn't question my trust in God; she simply exhorted me to Trust Him More. Powerful!

My dad adopted me when I was 20 years old and died, aka transitioned, when I was 35. I loved having a father figure and I loved having a dad even more. 15 years was not enough time for us to have together. However, I have been given more time and that time is a gift. I am still a  HUGE birthday person. God has given me the best birthday gift imaginable...life, and this year I will TRUST HIM MORE.


Thanks to my friends and family for the birthday gifts:

• doc popcorn
• Big Hunk candy bar
• Sweet Factory treats - chocolate covered orange sticks, boston baked beans
• earrings
• The Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales because "Everyone should have a little magic in their lives"